Help your child succeed by allowing him to fail

As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to see your child fail. Whenever your son fails to tie his shoelaces on his own or when your daughter gets a low score during the test, you may feel a little hurt for your child. If only you can spare your little one from having to experience the pain of failing.

However, protecting your child from every failure and mistake may do him more harm than good.  It is depriving him from the human experience that can teach him to be resilient and persevering.  Even at a young age, you have to teach your child that it’s alright to fail, but you have to guide him how to properly deal with failures.

Here are tips on how to teach kids to bounce back from every letdown they encounter.

Show empathy and appreciate your child’s efforts

Showing empathy to your child will validate his feelings of frustration and disappointment. Don’t just tell your child to stop crying or refrain from being sad.  You have to allow him to experience the emotions that go with failures – sadness, anger, and let him know that you also feel sad and frustrated when you fail.  Then, begin to verbally appreciate his efforts and not just the outcome of his actions. Tell him that you value his hard work and you admire him whenever he gives his best.


Let your child fail

It might be tough to let your child fail, but he needs to learn how to handle disappointments. Experiencing failures will set your kid on the path to resilience and boost his confidence to take on new challenges. Letting your child fail does not mean you are a bad parent.

So give your child the opportunity to try things, experiment, run fast, climb the monkey bars, do his assignments on his own.  Whether he fails or not, he will learn a thing or two from the outcome of his own actions.

Look at your child’s failures as opportunities for growth

Failures are new opportunities for your child to grow. So instead of feeling bad about when your child fails to recognize a letter or if he does not remember to pee on the potty, don’t get mad.  Remember that every failure is a teaching opportunity. Each time he fails, patiently remind him what he has to do and teach him how to do things right. Celebrate his mistakes by giving him the chance to talk about it and what he learned from it.

Manage your expectations

It’s normal for any parent to want the best for his child. Sometimes, however, parents have the tendency to put pressure on kids even with the best intentions in the world. You should learn to manage your expectations and let your child learn at his own pace. Your child’s failures are stepping stones towards development.

Be a good example

Take responsibility when you make mistakes. When things don’t go according to plan, don’t be on a bad mood. Show your child that failures, mistakes and frustrations are part of life. It’s what you do after failing that counts.


Failures should be embraced instead of feared as they are necessary for growth. Once you teach your child how to deal with failures, he will then be ready to handle whatever life throws at him.


READ ALSO: The Value of Sharing: How to Teach It to Our Children

Gwen Llana-Serrano is a millennial mom who works from home. She owns a content writing start-up and writes about her experience as a mom for the first time on her parenting and lifestyle blog. He also writes articles for The Asian Parent, the largest parenting website in Southeast Asia.